The Rough Draft

In such a solitary endeavour, it’s easy to lose heart. Sometimes you get blocked and it feels like it’ll never end. Other times the sheer pressure of life, home and family can bring you to a screeching halt as well. How do you suck it up enough to keep pushing through, even after that bad review?

Each of us have different rituals that we go through every day before starting the work of writing. Some of us prefer to write in the morning, others in the evening. Some like to space it all out in brief spurts throughout the day. Myself, I write best when the cheque is in the bank. They’ve already bought it, I can crank out whatever the hell I want.

But those are the up times and lets face it, in the hills and valleys of a writing career, there are periods where there is vastly more valley than hill.

The reasons for this are the same that drive most normal people nuts too. Family trouble, money trouble, self doubt, insanity (though that can be a plus if not a bit redundant) and from simply working in the wrong genre (which will stop you cold in your tracks). It’s just that most people not working towards getting produced or published have little understanding of how much hold that pressure has over us. We’re constantly asked what have you got, what have you done and then the dreaded, what have you done lately. Sometimes followed by, “Oh I saw that, it was a piece of shit.” For which we the writer are blamed, when all we did was write the blueprint (based on their notes). In other words, we didn’t have it last, they did, why it’s garbage rests more on their shoulders than on ours. Because if it’s a group effort in success, it should be a group effort in failure too (I’ll believe the latter when I see it). Then of course there’s also the constant drive to get stuff produced. This means you have to deal with a large group of individuals, some of which who have personal peculiarities in respect to how they conduct business. Others, present themselves as that which they are not (hard to believe I know) and then there’s the element of spin which we all are very good at. Bottom line, most of the time you can’t tell the bullshit from truth, no matter how long you’ve been doing this. Add to that the endless line of sharks all standing in line with their hands out to take a piece of your pie, earned from your talent, not theirs, and I’m not talking about agents here. I’m talking about the numerous hangers on that seem to crawl out of the woodwork the moment you have a modicum of success.

And yet still you are expected to soldier on, to be creative and above all else, to be productive. Sometimes it makes you want to scream, other times you just cry tears of impotent rage. And sometimes you just simply lose heart. It would be so much easier to quit, to stop writing to take up an easier hobby like polar bear wrestling or bomb disposal. Sometimes this loss of heart is final and the person drops out of the scene. Some are happier, most aren’t. It’s as if there’s unfinished business but they can’t go back. I think the same thing happens to Air Traffic Controllers. I wish it would happen to certain political figures.

So how do you stop it? This loss of faith.

It depends on how honest you can be with yourself and where you see things in your future at all points. It depends on how well you can filter the good things in your life from the bad and petty frustrations. It depends on how badly you want it and what you’re willing to sacrifice in order to achieve it. It depends on your level of support at home and how much your family loves and understands you. It depends on you. Who you are, what you feel and what you believe. Because before you can believe in what you write, you have to believe in yourself first truthfully. That you have to hold close to your chest. That’s the faith you need to keep. If you don’t believe in you, then you’re just taking up space in line, hoping to get lucky. Own your talent and move on.

Trust is a thorny issue. Who do you trust in this industry, who can you trust? The Writer’s Journey is one frought with temptations, distractions, gatekeepers, mentors, you name it. The hardest lesson for most writers to learn is to trust themselves.

Go with your gut, because your heart will lie to you. Every time I’ve gone against my gut, I’ve paid a hefty price in the end, either in time or face. Your gut is pretty smart. It takes all the subtlety and nuance exuded by a person and distills it into a physical reaction deep down in your core. Sometimes it’s so palpable you feel like Johnny in, “The Dead Zone.” Most times though it’s not so visceral. You meet somebody and they just don’t feel right. You can’t put your finger on it but they’re off. Never work with a person who makes you feel like that (unless it’s a really big cheque) because chances are it’ll turn into the project from Hell.

One time, I had agreed to take the pictures at a friend of my wife’s wedding. Now I had never met the groom let alone set eyes on the guy until ten minutes before the ceremony was about to begin. He looked nice enough but the moment he shook my hand I knew he was a complete scumbag and that my wife’s friend was about to make a huge mistake in marrying him. Of course, you keep that sort of thing to yourself at a wedding but within twelve months they had disintegrated into one of the most terrible breakups I’ve ever witnessed (and I used to serve divorce papers, so I’ve seen terrible). So I trust my gut.

Who else can you trust? Well never trust anybody who says they have all of the answers to why you aren’t selling. Never trust any one person who tells you, you have no talent. That’s one you want to get a bunch of people to tell you (to your face). As far as singing goes the same applies, especially if they’re sitting behind a long table in a hotel and you’ve got a number pinned to your chest. You suck, try something else.

But like I said, there there are many different arch types in the industry. The gatekeepers are the development execs and their secretaries. Agents, Managers and Lawyers also fill a certain amount of this task. Can you get around them? Yes but listen to what they say because they actually do know (most of them) good from bad.

In regards to mentors and the like, be careful. A producer will come on as a mentor but usually it means they want you to write something for free or develop an idea they have, again for free. The real test here is for them to pony up some cash. Then they at least respect you. Every producer who ever paid me is still somebody I’ll talk to and our relationships remain intact. Those who haven’t? Well you get the picture. In fact everybody will try to get you to do stuff for free if they can get away with it. Which is why you land an agent because they become your gatekeeper.

And then there are those who really do just want to help. Real help, true help, comes with no strings attached (at least no visible strings). Real help does not puff itself up with self importance but offers solid well thought out advice and critique. Their friends become your friends. They have no problem introducing you around or giving you that contact number. Everybody is honest with one and other. It’s a tough enough industry without having to tell lies all of the time. Lastly, real help has experience. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one but experience, that’s tough to come by. Most of it is hard won and not everybody wants to share.

Of course the conclusion is listen to what everybody has to say, and go with your gut.

Thanks

Steve Abbott

Sometimes the news you get is not the news you want to hear. This doesn’t make it good or bad, it just makes it what it is. How you deal with the news is what decides the final outcome.

Some wise advice was once given to me. I was told that how you react to a given situation will decide how it effects you and your life. He told me that there are three stages to a given moment. The occurence, the reaction and the outcome.

You can’t control any occurance, shit just happens. Sometimes it’s good shit, sometimes it’s bad shit, you didn’t ask for it but there it is and you have no choice but to deal with it. How you deal with it is the critical thing here. You can’t change the situation, it static and fixed so that means that the only way you can change the outcome is by your reaction or if you’d like actions in the face of the given situation. Of course the Devil is in the details because we’re never sure if we’re making the right choice for the long run are we.

So I had a meeting with my agent this week, in which we discussed briefly the past year’s events and the coming year’s plan of attack. I happened to ask where I stood in regards to a particular project and its chain of title. A chain of title is a legal doicument that breaks down who thought of what and what they get paid out in the long run. My agent said good question and then proceeded to tell me that one of the initial principal individuals who created the original idea I’ve been writing for the last eight months was no longer represented by him. This was not good news. It was also not my agent’s fault, so there was no point in shooting the messenger or breaking down into hysterics. This project was my call and I should have made sure this was settled months ago but instead trusted in others to get it done. And in doing so broke my own number one rule, trust nobody to do their job. So that bit of business out of the way we went on to other things such as a TV series I’d like to develop and how to go about that. Last but not least we discussed the next series of scripts I’m about to write. I won’t bore you with the details but it’s safe to say I’m writing for myself for the next few months, building up my library. Unless somebody comes to me with a cheque (of a decent size) in hand, I’m not interested.

Which sounds a bit bitter and harsh but you have to understand that when I approached the person who put together this whole other script deal with what had been discussed in my meeting with my agent, I wasn’t told, “Don’t worry, it’s been taken care of, the contract is on its way to you.” I was told, “Hmmm, interesting.” Which I can assure you, the situation is not. History is interesting, contract problems are a ball ache. So, “Hmmmm,” I’ll be not working on anything other than my own stuff for the next little while.

Still, there is much to be greatfull for. Snapped looks like it’s going to go to Sundance, which is very cool and looks great on the old resume. My short film, “Dumped,” is going to be produced next year and this TV thing is looking very promising.

So I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. When I’m not stuffing myself with turkey, I’ll be head down over my computer.

Good Luck and good writing.