Like the song says, "What a difference a day makes."

This has been a good week.

Not because of any one thing especially but mostly because of a bunch of things finally coming together.  A big chunk of which was swallowing a rather big piece of fear and uncertaintythat seems to go hand in hand with a lot of what being a writer is all about.

You don't start out uncertain, that gets branded into you as you go along.  It all leads back to something I discovered after years of therapy, "It's not me, it you people..." And you know who you are.  I mean, hello, you can only take so much of being the brunt of the tall poppy syndrome for so long.  Enough swipes get aimed at your head, pretty soon you learn to get down and stay down.  You might not like it but a dude's got to breathe.  Sometimes being produced is not always a good thing.  Working with a producer, getting hired, getting paid are also not always the best thing for you.  Because while you toil away on somebody else's piece of shit, your own script languishes and you get seperated further and further from it.  Until it makes no sense at all and that can be really scary.

That's pretty much where I was.  I had a spec I'd been bashing away at for about five years on and off as a variety of other projects passed through.  Some for the better, some for the worse.  Until my last project, which turned out to be very much for the worse.  Not quite career ending but not exactly good for the ego either and ego is the heart of the writer's engine, perseverance is the fuel.  After my last windmill tilt, I was more than a little spent.

But then something very good happened, I realized that while I had indeed been polishing the world's biggest turd for this particular producer I'd been polishing it as absolutely best I could.  Regardless of what this freal thought of my work, it was solid.  I can't help they're insane.  That was a lost cause and while I hate to fail, it's not like it's the first time for that either.  Big rewards mean a certain level of risk.  Risk does not ensure success.

Trust in yourself however is another matter.  I did what any writer would do, I went back to that spec that had been on my desktop for five years.  I took a good long look at it and figured out the bugs, I mean really figured out the bugs and then I chained myself to the computer and finished it.  Then I sent it out to my most trusted inner circle.  Not for them to blow smoke up my ass but for them to give me solid critique.  Which they did.

There's a good chance we have a winner here.  I'll keep you posted.

The other news is that I changed the shower head in our main bathroom this week and my Autistic son as a result has started taking showers.  Which in any other household would be no big deal, except he was afraid of showers ever since they were part of the debriding process he had to go through as a young child as part of his burn treatment at VGH in BC.  Ever since then, no showers.  But this week, we used the telescoping head to help him get used to it all and as of Friday, he's been taking full on showers and tonight he even had a go at shaving in the shower.

So like I said, it's been a good week all around...